We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
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Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
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That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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