I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
