we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
