We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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