But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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