i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hippo gnu deer
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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