Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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