I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize