i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Farmville is her only friend.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
