Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
