i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
