some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
