planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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