Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
