nut hugger
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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