Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
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We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
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I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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