Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just blew my weed a kiss
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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