I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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