thus making me awesome and them whores
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
