Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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