I have demons in me.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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