I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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