It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
