I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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