I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
