one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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