biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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