I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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