mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a bar mat shot.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize