dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
third nipple confirmed
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
