Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
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You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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