just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
