your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
