Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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