so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
