He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
