did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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