nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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