it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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