You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
