The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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