thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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