I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
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Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
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Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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