She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
