i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
