hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
