I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
