So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
