just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
