After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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