dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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