Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
