I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
True strength comes from lack of pants
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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