i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
